Congratulations! You have now made it through most of the LUNA program! We hope you feel like your dedication and hard work have begun to pay off.
In Modules 8 through 11, we will focus on making the most of your child’s plan of action by diving into a few specific topics that you may find helpful. Each of these modules describe different ways to alter your plan of action based on different fears or barriers you could be facing. For these supplemental modules, you will choose the most appropriate ones for you and your child to complete. Feel free to work on these modules in the order you prefer based on what will be most helpful for your child, and feel free to skip ahead to the next module if you feel a particular module is not relevant for your child. Be sure to discuss this with your child, as it is important for you both to read the same module each week.
In this module, we will focus on social situations and social barriers that make it harder for your child to overcome anxiety. If any of your child’s fears involve social situations, speaking with peers, or completing activities in public spaces, this module may be especially helpful for you.
Reflecting on Progress
Before we talk more about social skills, take some time to reflect on how your child’s plan of action practice has gone so far using the questions below. Your child will also have their own reflection worksheet with questions to complete. It may be helpful for you to review your child’s worksheet as well and discuss their answers with them.
Social Fears
People struggle with social fears and anxiety for a variety of reasons. Many autistic kids and teens may struggle with social anxiety due to social and communication differences and challenges. They could have trouble understanding what is expected of them in social situations, or they might worry about others perceiving them as different or “weird”. Some kids and teens may have been bullied or have had painful and negative interactions with others in the past. If your child relates to any of these statements, it makes sense why they might worry in social situations.
Just like all the other types of anxiety we have discussed, the best way for your child to overcome social anxiety is for them to face it head on by gradually experiencing social situations that make them nervous. But, if your child has trouble understanding how relationships work or knowing what to say or do when interacting with others, they may need to have some extra guidance in this area before they can work on successfully facing their social fears.
In this module, we will introduce you to some tools to help your child better understand and navigate social interactions. We will also talk about a strategy you can use to help your child with their social skills. We will call this strategy social coaching. Social coaching involves rehearsing and preparing your child for certain social interactions. Social coaching is meant to help your child practice their social skills before they attempt to use them in real life.
It's important to remember that not every child who avoids social situations is socially anxious. Some children are simply less interested in social interactions or developing close friendships. If this is the case for your child, then social coaching may not be a great use of your time in this program. Social coaching should be used as a tool to help your child face their social fears, not to change their personality or preferences!
On the other hand, some children truly want to interact with their peers and develop relationships, but struggle to do so because they fear being judged, rejected, or embarrassed. Others may struggle due to fears associated with their ability to understand social cues and interpret social situations. For children with anxieties such as these, social coaching can be very beneficial.
Social Anxiety and Social Skills
Experiencing social anxiety may result in poorer social skills. For example, Sophia is very quiet while talking to others. She keeps her answers short in conversations and does not ask others any questions due to her fear of being judged. In this way, Sophia’s social anxiety stops her from practicing skills that will help her connect with others. When George is anxious about talking to someone he doesn’t know well, he shows his anxiety on his face. Others may perceive his expression as unfriendly, making it hard for George to even begin a conversation with someone new.
Having good social skills can offer a positive framework for how to act in social situations. Identifying and teaching your child basic social skills can give them the boost they need to start tackling their social fears.
