Now, let’s spend some time thinking about your own child’s worries and fears. To help get you started, we created a checklist that includes common fears within different categories. Here are example checklists from Sophia and George.
Think about your child’s fears and fill out your own Fears and Worries Checklist. You can either print out this worksheet to fill it out or you can download it and fill it out electronically. We will come back to this worksheet later, so don’t worry about getting it perfect right now!
Setting Goals
Now, let’s think about what your child’s goals for LUNA might be. Take some time and think about the following questions:
- Is there anything your child is currently unable to do because of anxiety?
- What do you hope your child will be able to do after this program?
- What do you think your child would want to achieve after this program?
It might help you to think about different areas of your child’s life, such as school, family, and friends, and the challenges you see them having in each of these areas. This worksheet may help you and your child organize your thoughts. You can make a worksheet of your own by noting if you notice any anxiety or fears causing problems in any of these areas:
- Family
- School
- Friends
- Health
- Fun
- Spirituality / Religion
- Community
Here are a few more brainstorming questions for you to consider:
- From your observation, does your child’s anxiety cause problems for them in any of these life areas? Does their anxiety make anything more challenging? Does it stop them from enjoying things or getting things done? Your child’s anxiety could center around a place (e.g., the bathroom), a situation (e.g., talking in front of class), or an object (e.g., bugs).
- Is there anything your child would like to do, but can’t because of anxiety?
- Does your child avoid doing certain things because of anxiety?
After considering the fears and anxieties in each area of your child’s life, let’s think about your child’s goals for LUNA. Which of these challenges does your child want to overcome the most? It is important to discuss with your child what they want to achieve through this program. As a parent, you likely have valuable insight to give to your child. You may also need to provide structure and direction for them while they create their goals, but it’s important that the goals you and your child choose are in line with your child’s values and wishes for their own life.
One way to help your child set their goals is by making sure their goals are specific, measurable, and achievable.
- Having specific goals helps outline a clear and detailed direction for your child. If their goals are too broad, try and help them narrow down their focus.
- Having measurable goals is beneficial when it comes to evaluating progress. You can help your child by making sure their goals aren’t too abstract. If your child’s goal can happen multiple times a day, it may be helpful to decide on frequency.
- Having achievable goals ensures that your child remains hopeful and motivated while challenging themselves. We don’t want their goals to be too hard or too easy.
Tips on Setting Goals
Goals should be specific
Specific goals are clear and detailed. “Not being afraid” is not specific enough to be a goal. Think about the things that currently make you anxious. If you are afraid of being judged by others, your goal could be “not being afraid of what other people think about me.”
Your goals should be measurable
Measurable goals are concrete enough for you to know once you’ve achieved them. Think about some things that you want to do, but can’t right now because of fear. If you are not able to join drama club because you are afraid others might judge you, but you really want to join, your goal could be “Join drama club.”
Your goals should be achievable
Achievable goals are something you can realistically do. If your goal is too easy you would achieve it too quickly, which will not help you in the future. Goals that are too hard might take too long to achieve, and you could lose motivation along the way. Some goals are impossible for anyone. If your goal is to “never feel afraid again,” that would not be realistic.
Help your child write down their goals using the Setting My Goals worksheet. We recommend that your child targets three different anxieties to work on during our program, but you can always be flexible. Even after the LUNA program is over, your child can continue to implement the skills they’ve learned. If there are more fears your child would like to work on after the program is over, they can always come back to this material. We do recommend that you and your child do not work on more than four anxieties at a time during this program, as more than four can become overwhelming.
Setting goals can be difficult. It might make sense for you to brainstorm some goals on your own and then discuss them with your child after. It’s important for your child to work towards goals that they are motivated to work on. However, it’s also important to have goals that are meaningful to both you and your child.
