Figuring out if your child’s behaviors are due to anxiety or something else
Everyone responds differently to their feelings, and anxiety can look different in each kid. Some children may look fearful, shaky, or panicky, while others might try very hard to avoid an anxious situation to the point where they get angry and throw temper tantrums. Some may also cry and try to distance themselves from others. However, kids can also do all of these things because of other reasons and not necessarily because they are feeling anxious – they might be overstimulated, they might feel confused because they don’t know what to do in certain situations, or they might be simply misbehaving.
For example, a child throws a tantrum in the middle of a shopping mall. They may be lashing out this way because:
- They feel anxious about going to a place where they might get lost
- They are overstimulated by a lot of sounds and people around them
- They are angry because their caregiver won’t buy them something they want
- They just want to go home and play on their tablet
Another example might be that of a child who does not play with other kids during recess at school. They may not be engaging because:
- They feel anxious about being judged by others
- They don’t know how to interact with other people
- They prefer to be alone
- All of the above!
As these examples show, it can be difficult to figure out the reason for children’s behaviors. Sometimes you might be pretty confident that your child is acting in a certain way because they are anxious. Other times, it might be unclear. Because these behaviors can look the same, see a few questions below that you can ask yourself to help distinguish anxiety from other reasons for a behavior.
Lastly, it is okay if you cannot always clearly tell when certain behaviors are due to anxiety or other reasons. This is not an easy task! You can first try addressing problems that are clearly anxiety-related, and wait to address problems that are less clear. Over time, it often becomes easier to pick anxiety-related behavioral problems, or you can apply your anxiety-management skills to see if they help with a particular behavior.
