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Not everyone shows us the kindness we deserve all of the time. Your child may have experienced bullying throughout their life, and maybe they felt helpless when it happened, or thought it was unfair. Thankfully, there are ways to handle bullying when it does happen:
- Don’t give bullies what they want. Bullies are looking for a big reaction from your child. If your child can learn to ignore them, your child denies the bullies what they are looking for and they are more likely to stop bothering your child. Even if your child feels hurt by it (and there is nothing wrong with that!), they should try to make sure the bully thinks it is no big deal to them. If someone is saying nasty things about your child on the Internet or sending them hurtful messages, they should not respond to them. Later, find other ways to cope with it, like talking to someone you trust (see number 4 below).
- Provide opportunities for your child to spend time in safe spaces with good kids. Your child might spend time in places where people are bullying them (these can be virtual and in-person spaces). Try to give your child chances to spend time in places where they are likely to find people who share their interests who don’t bully them. For example, if your child really likes theater, try to help them get more involved with their school play.
- Supervise where your child is spending time. Make sure to supervise where your child is spending time, and make sure they are not spending too much time in unsupervised spaces without responsible adults. It is natural for older children and teens to push back on this as they become more independent, but stand your ground and make sure to limit how much time they spend without adult supervision (including time on or access to social media). The Internet has provided a place for kids to connect with others and can be very helpful, but it is also a place where lots of bullying happens, so it is important to have a really good idea of where and how your child is using the Internet.
- Talk to someone about it. Your child does not have to go through this alone, or keep their feelings to themselves. They should talk to a friend, a sibling, a parent, a teacher, or anyone else who is trustworthy.
- Get involved when bullies are really hurtful. Everyone gets teased or picked on at some point, and it is important to figure out how to help yourself feel better when that happens. But when someone is picking on your child over and over, is physically hurting them, or is making them do things they do not want to do (like doing their homework or taking your child’s stuff), it is important to step in and communicate with other adults in your child’s life, like their teachers.
