When planning for the future, it is also helpful to think about your child’s specific anxiety cues, or “flares,” that let you know that anxiety might be getting serious again. Flares can be behaviors, body sensations, thoughts, and/or feelings. Your child may express these flares to you explicitly or you may be able to observe them yourself. Below are some examples:
| Anxiety Cues | Examples |
|---|---|
|
Behaviors You may notice that your child is avoiding situations that make them anxious. For example, crying in stressful situations, refusing to give a speech or engage in social interactions for fear they will be judged, or declining to try new activities out of fear that they will not perform perfectly. They may also be quieter than usual. Children may ask lots of questions about their fears, like “Will I be okay if…” or “Are you sure that is safe?” |
Sally's mom noticed that right before she had to give a presentation to a group of astronauts, she began to cry. Neil's mom accidently got the dates mixed up for when Neil was supposed to pick out his astronaut suit. As it turns out, his appointment is today instead of tomorrow afternoon. However, Neil is refusing to get in the car because he had plans to finish reading his book on Mars today. |
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Physical Reactions You may notice that your child is trembling, fidgeting, or that their face or other body parts are turning red. These will be less noticeable for many children. Your child could also tell you directly that their heart is racing or their stomach hurts. |
Sally told her mom that her stomach hurt before giving her presentation. Her mom identified that this was a sign of anxiety as opposed to a physical illness. Neil's mom noticed that when she told him about the change in plans, he became very quiet and fidgeted with his hands. His mom knew that Neil must be feeling very anxious because he does not like changes in routine. |
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Thoughts Your child may tell you that something really bad will happen although it is very unlikely. |
Sally: She keeps saying, “If I go up to give my presentation, I am going to forget everything about Saturn.” Neil: He thinks, “If I go to the astronaut suit fitting right now, I won’t be able to adjust my schedule so that I can finish my book today.” |
Now it is your turn! What are some of your child’s anxiety flares that will let you know in the future that anxiety is getting serious again? Think about specific anxiety flares for your child and record them on this worksheet (PDF version):
| Instructions: Fill out the table below with some of your child's anxiety flares that will let you know in the future that their anxiety is getting serious again. | |
|---|---|
| Anxiety Cue | Examples in Your Child |
| Behaviors: Avoiding situations that cause anxiety, crying, being quiet, asking lots of questions, etc. | |
| Physical Reactions: Trembling, fidgeting, face/body turning red, comments about heart racing or stomach hurting, etc. | |
| Thoughts: Talking about something really bad happening even though it isn't likely | |
