Here are the instructions to provide social coaching:
Pick a social skill to practice
Think of a social skill your child would benefit from working on. This should be something they can do, but maybe they don’t do it consistently with all people in all situations or without a lot of help or reminders. Just as you start mission plans with an easier goal, you should think about an easier skill to work on that your child would be more likely to be successful at (for example, joining a conversation) before progressing to more complicated skills (for example, inviting a friend to spend time together or standing up for yourself). Review the skills on the Social Skills page and pick a relatively easier one to start.
Find a time and place to practice
Determine a time and place that is ideal to practice this skill with your child’s peers.
Choose an appropriate reward
If your child feels anxious about the task, work together to come up with an appropriate reward for completing the task. Depending on the difficulty of the tasks, you may consider writing a mission plan.
Role-play with your child
Right before your child engages in the task, role-play the skill. Before jumping in, you ask them how to perform the skill(s) (e.g., ask, “what are you going to do and say when you go up to the other boy/girl?”), verbally remind them how they can perform the skill(s), and/or provide them with examples and explanations of why they are appropriate. Then, role-play the interaction with you playing the role of your child first, modelling the skills they should use. After practicing this, switch roles. If your child does not behave appropriately, provide examples for what they could say and prompt them to engage in that behavior themselves. Practice a few times until they are comfortable with the skill and using it correctly, then prompt them to go try with their peer, reminding them of the reward they will get for trying.
Practice with a peer
Once your child has demonstrated that they can use the skill, have them approach their peers. When necessary, pull your child aside and do more social coaching. This should happen only during natural breaks in conversation/social interaction, so that your child’s peers do not know that your child is being coached.
Reward
If applicable, give your child their reward. They may repeat the social tasks as many times as they are able (and get rewarded each time they complete them!).
Reflect on the interaction
After practicing, reflect with your child on how it went (they can do written reflection or speak with you). You can ask the following questions:
- Did it go better than you thought it would? How so?
- Was it easier than you expected?
- Did it get easier the longer you hung out with [peer/adult name]?
- Was it fun talking with [peer/adult name]?
