Step 2: Select a Target Fear for Mission Plan
Next, from the List of Fears and Worries worksheet, you will select a specific fear or worry to be the target of your mission plan. When doing so, there are some important things to keep in mind:
Can I make clear steps for this mission plan?
Consider possible mission plan steps. It is often helpful to start with something concrete that happens frequently, so that your child can practice often. Furthermore, make sure that your child’s first mission plan is one that is clear and easily doable for them, as this will help them build confidence.
Are you motivated to overcome this fear?
The more motivated you are to overcome a fear, the easier it will be to complete a mission plan. To compare your motivation for different fears, consider the level of impact each one has on your child and your family on a day-to-day basis. Especially for your first mission plan, having a target and goal that is motivating for the whole family can be helpful.
Is the “fear” actually rooted in anxiety?
As we said at the beginning of the program, sometimes it can be tricky to figure out if a child is avoiding something because of anxiety or something else. For example, a child might avoid school because they do not like an academic subject, they find school “boring,” they find loud noises there overwhelming like busy hallways, the cafeteria, or bells ringing, they would prefer to do fun things to do at home, or because they are anxious about interacting with peers, separating from a parent, or taking a big test.
Here we return to Neil and Sally again to provide examples of selecting a target fear.
Selecting a Target Fear for Neil's first Mission Plan
Neil’s fears and worries include:
- The dark
- Vegetables
- Excessive and repetitive reassurance seeking (especially leading up to events or new activities. This is technically not a fear, but it is a fear-based behavior.)
- Changes in routine
- Separation from his mom
Most of Neil’s fears would make appropriate targets for mission plans, but some make more sense for his first mission plan. For example, Neil has one broad fear that is more abstract than the others: his fear of changes or new things, which primarily shows up as excessive and repetitive reassurance-seeking. Because this fear is so abstract, it might be hard for Neil to come up with steps for this mission plan. However, if he completes a mission plan with a more concrete target fear first, he will have an easier time tackling a more abstract fear later.
Neil’s mom also considered the level of impact when deciding which fear to target with his first mission plan. Neil did not seem particularly motivated to face any of his fears. However, the combination of his fear of the dark and separation fears at night were impacting the whole family. Neil needed his mom to be with him when he fell asleep every night. If he woke up in the night, he would call for his mom because he did not want to get out of bed when his room was dark, which would wake up the whole house. He also needed a lamp and his hallway light to be on all night, which was adding to the electricity bill. For these reasons, Neil’s mom decided to tackle this combination of fear of the dark and separation anxiety first.
Selecting a Target Fear for Sally's first Mission Plan
Sally’s fears and worries include:
- Automatic toilets and hand dryers
- Germs
- Public restrooms
- Social fears/worries
- Physical symptoms before school/school avoidance
To determine Sally’s mission plan goals, she and her mom had two considerations: 1) can we make a clear mission plan?, and 2) Are we motivated enough?
When thinking about her different fears, she and her mom thought that it might be difficult to challenge her fears of public restrooms, automatic toilets, and hand dryers since they do not have any at home. Since a lot of her fears of germs relate to things outside the house, they also thought this would be a trickier one to start off practicing most days. In contrast, they realized she interacts with others every day, so thought it would be easier to make a mission plan for social fears. Sally also said she really wanted to start talking to new kids in her class more than challenging her fears of germs. Taken together, they decided to start with a mission plan related to social anxiety.
Select a Possible Target for your Child’s First Mission Plan
Now, it’s your turn. Using the List of Fears and Worries worksheet, consider possible targets for your child’s first mission plan. As your child is completing their week 4 content, use the “Choosing a target fear for my child’s first mission plan” worksheet below, and work with your child to figure out a target fear for their first mission plan (this is Step 1 for them).
Choosing a target fear for my child’s first mission plan (best for written responses)
Choosing a target fear for my child’s first mission plan (best for typed responses)
Or, use this prompt to create your own worksheet.
This worksheet is for you and your child to complete together during Step 1 of their Week 4 content. With your child, consider the fears and worries that could be targets for their first mission plan. Then, pick the one that you would like to start with and write about it below. As you decide which fear to target first, keep the following points in mind:
- Is the fear actually rooted in anxiety?
- How concrete is this fear? Can I make clear and straightforward steps for this mission plan?
- Are you motivated to overcome this fear?
