Handling Bullying and Rejection

Not everyone shows us the kindness we deserve all of the time. You may have had kids be mean to you throughout your life, and maybe you felt helpless when it happened, or you thought it was unfair. Thankfully, there are ways to handle bullying when it does happen to you:

1. Don’t give them what they want. When someone bullies you, it says much more about them than about you. When they say something mean to you, they are looking for you to have a big reaction. So, when you ignore them, you don’t give them what they are looking for and they are more likely to stop bothering you. Even if you do feel hurt by it (and there is nothing wrong with that!), try to make sure the bully think it is no big deal to you. If someone is saying nasty things about you on the Internet or sending you hurtful messages, do not respond to them. Later, find other ways to cope with it, like talking to someone you trust (see number 4 below).
2. Practice responding to bullies. Find a go-to thing to say or do when someone is bullying you. If someone says something mean to you and they are trying to be funny, you can say “Haha, very funny” sarcastically and walk away. It can be hard to think of what to say in the moment if someone is picking on you, so find something that makes sense to say and practice it with someone you trust so you can say it easily if someone is being a jerk to you.
3. Think about what makes you awesome. It is normal to feel hurt when someone is mean to you, and even to believe what they are saying about you. It can be helpful to remember the things about yourself that are awesome. If you have a good friend, a favorite teacher, a cool aunt or uncle, or a parent who thinks you are awesome, think about what they would say about you. What would they think about someone bullying you? Those are the people who matter and who you should listen to.
4. Talk to someone about it. You don’t have to go through this alone or keep your feelings to yourself. If someone is bullying you, you can talk to a friend, a sibling, a parent, a teacher, or anyone who you trust will be there for you.
5. Get adults you trust involved when bullies are really hurtful. Everyone gets teased or picked on at some point, and it is important to figure out how to help yourself feel better when that happens. But when someone is picking on you over and over, is physically hurting you, or is making you do things you do not want to do (like doing their homework or taking your stuff), it is important to get adults you trust involved to help.
6. Spend time in safe spaces and with good people. Find people who you like hanging out with, and places you enjoy spending time, where you know you will not be bullied. If there are certain places where you get bullied a lot, try to stay away from those places. These can be real and virtual spaces - like a lunch table where you get picked on, or a social media site where people bully you. Spend more time at places with people who share your interests and treat you well. For example, if you really like theater, get more involved with your school play and hang out with other kids who are into theater.

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